How to break up with someone

Breaking up with someone can be a mutual and calm agreement or can be unexpected, painful, and leave you heartbroken. Whether you are the one breaking up with someone or getting broken up with, there are right and wrong ways to approach this sensitive subject

How to break up - If you are the one initiating the break up. . .

Think First how to break up. Before approaching your partner with your wish to end the relationship, really put your reasons together and decide whether or not you truly feel a break up is what you really want. Think about what you will say and how you will say it.

 

Be Gentle. Breaking up is a very fragile issue to deal with because it involves a lot of emotions and attachment, so be gentle and sensitive when you talk to your partner about it. Do not start up an argument or point fingers. It is not your partner's fault that you are no longer interested and it is not your fault either. Sometimes people just grow apart and end up having too many differences; it takes two to get in and out of relationships. 

Take yourself Seriously. If you decide that you longer wish to continue the romantic relationship, then take it seriously. Do not obsess about what new romances your ex-partner may soon be involved in. Focus on yourself and move on. If you later feel you made the wrong decision, then talk it out with him or her then, but do not constantly wonder about it or harass him or her about who they are seeing now.

Friends? The two of can decided if you want to continue being friends. This all depends on the status of your relationships. If you were ending on bad terms, then it would be best if the two of you went your separate ways; at least for a while until you both have your feelings sorted out and feel better about what has happened.

If you are the one being broken up with. . .

Do not Panic. Try your very best not to go hysterical when your partner says he or she wants to break up. Before getting defensive and worked up, stay calm and listen to what is being said and what reasons are being given.

Ask and Speak up. When your partner is giving reasons of why they feel a break up is best, ask questions if you have any or feel confused about anything. Do not be afraid to ask anything. You have a right to fully understand everything that is being presented to you. Make comments about what is being said as well. By talking it out, you both will paint a clearer picture of what went wrong and why. If you speak up, you may be able explain something your partner may have misunderstood and took the wrong way.

Avoid Attacking with Anger. You may not like what is being said, but it will help or better the situation of you attack with anger. The only thing that will happen when you get defensive and angry, is worsen the break up and end it on a more painful term. If you feel that you cannot control your anger then tell your partner that you understand he or she wishes to break up, but you are not ready to talk about it at the present time. When you are ready to talk about it in a rational manner, then get together and share your thoughts.

Except and Respect the Break up. It could very well be that although your partner wanted to break up, you still feel you should be together. This is normal after growing an emotional attachment to someone. However, you must except and respect the fact that you are now broken up. This means giving your ex-partner the freedom and space they asked for. You may feel heartbroken and unable to move on, but begging or following your ex around will not bring the two of you back together, but risk the chance of the two of you being friends in the future (if you wish to). Focus on healing and moving on instead.

Healing and Moving On. . .

Ride out your Emotions. If you feel the need to cry, then do so. Crying will help you release the pain and realize the reality that you really are broken up, starting the healing process.

Talk about it. You should not have to go through this rough time alone. Talk to your friends and family about what happened and how you feel about it. Getting support and comforting is a big key to healing your wounds.

Seek Professional Advice. You may need more than crying and a hug to help you through this and feel the need to get an expert's opinion and advice. Talking to a counselor about your relationship and your pain will not only make you feel better, but will help you understand how and why things went wrong and how to prevent similar events from taking place in your next relationship. Plus, you can learn what things will help you heal greater and perhaps faster by discovering more about you and your pain.

If you need help getting through a break up, we are here for you! Just go to our experts for advice. Immediate Advice and you will receive a response from one of our counselors in 24 hours.

Scary story of day- 10.10.2011

The legend is that if you sit in three of the graveyard chairs from midnight until one minute after midnight, you will have the ability to see ghosts, but you will pay with your life. This, however did not apply to three high-school football players on Halloween Night in 1976. They pulled into the graveyard, in the middle of a large, open area. They had heard the legend and decided to try it, but one of them refused. He sat down and watched the other boys run from one chair to the other. Then he sensed that something was wrong. They were leaning over to the side with their eyes rolled back, rasping. The boy began frantically screaming for help as his friends kneeled over and grabbed his leg. It is said that the boy also saw spirits for an instant. The boys died and the survivor never spoke a word again. Of course, there were people mourning their loved ones nearby. They witnessed the event and filed a police report detailing what happened. No one really knows what those chairs are, except that they have been there since the town was founded.

Story Of The Day-Tuesday,October 4,2011

Here's one I heard on the radio from a woman who told her story about seeing a ghost, which is scary: A few years ago, the woman and her family had just moved to a new house somewhere in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. One night, her baby son was crying so she got out of bed and went to see him. Suddenly, the baby stopped crying. The woman knew that he must have fallen asleep so she went back to bed. A few hours later, the baby cried again, so she got up and went over to check again. As she opened the door to her son's room, she saw a boy, about 6 or 7 years old, calming the baby down. When he saw the woman, he disappeared. The woman was shocked and later told her neighbours what happened. The neighbours already knew about the ghost and told her that there was a boy who died from an illness, about 80 years ago, and was buried under the exact place where her baby son's room is.

It's Time to Celebrate Halloween!

The current Halloween holiday comes from an old Celtic celebration called All Hallows Eve (translated to All Saints Day). During the festival they would bless and convert Pagans. We call it "Halloween" because "Hallow" means saints, and "-een" (originally e'en) means Evening. All Hallows Eve, get it?

We dress up honoring the Celtics, who would wear masks to scare away evil spirits and prevent demons from identifying them as humans.

We even bob for apples simply to honor a fruit god that the Celtics honored. Trick-or-treating represents how the spirits would visit Celtics' homes disguised as people in hopes of claiming a new soul. The treat part is for the feast after the whole fiasco was over.

Seasonal Balance: Autumn Health and Immunity Tips

Our health is affected by our environment, including the seasons. We must adapt our behavior to each season. In the autumn, we must take particular care to support our immune systems and avoid dryness and wind. More tips are included in the article.


Notice the leaves changing? A chill in the air?

Autumn is the time of maturity and harvest. The air becomes a bit crisper, and the leaves change. Everything slows down, and the days shorten. Yang turns toward yin. The wind can be a bit (or a lot) cooler. Make sure you've got a jacket with you and cover your neck to avoid colds and flu's - the wind has a way of overcoming the immune system.

Make sure you're eating well and your digestion is good, because that's the root of your immune system strength.

Dryness is a common problem in the autumn. It causes constipation, dry throat, dry skin, dry eyes, dry brittle hair, thirst, and prevents sweating. Spicy food makes it worse. Pear juice is a nice moistening solution for a dry Lung (Chinese medicine includes the nose, skin, and throat in its Lung organ-system).

Grief, the emotion of autumn, is quite appropriate in certain situations. In fact, the American Psychiatric Association has determined that 6 weeks of grief is appropriate and normal after the death of a loved one, or a great tragedy. But excessive or long-term grief can harm the Lung-system, and people with Metal-phase or Lung organ-system problems can be frequent criers.

But let's not forget a more positive form of grief, nostalgia, which can typify the 'autumn' of our lives. I know everyone has their own way of doing it- looking through old letters, and albums of photographs. The other day, I had on some Supertramp (70's rock), and the wave of nostalgia that hit me reminded me it was Autumn. You don't have to listen to 70's rock - choose your own. And I wouldn't advise staying in the nostalgic mood for too long (unless you like depression and fatigue), but a little bit of "retrospection" does the body and soul good.

Autumn Tips:

* Go to bed at sunset and arise at dawn
* Remain calm and peaceful, and avoid depression
* Rein in your desires and become focused
* Breathe deeply and smoothly
* Avoid smoking and excessive grief

The Consequences of Not Adapting to Autumn

* Immediately: Injury to the Lung and Immune System
* Later: In the winter, metabolic and digestive problems including diarrhea and undigested food